A Costco shopper at BJ’s Wholesale Club
Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

Not for the faint of wallet.

“That’s hot.”

My heart went “pitter” but not “pat.”

Stylish pleather jackets.

Behold, the pud.

Beam me up, Scottie!

We’ve struck oil.

Bits of jiggly pig.

If Chuck Norris was a butterscotch.

When life hands you a weird chemical smell…

Onions are my dearest friends.

Cynics like chocolate, too.

Won’t leave you feeling sheepish.

Welp. I had no choice.

Don’t be a silly bundtlet.

Always allow alliteration.

Life is tough. But your artichokes shouldn’t be.

The Jason Bourne of the Pasta World

Heaven smells better than pesto, I think?