Grillo’s Pickles Hot Spears Review
Author’s note: I wasn’t paid or compensated in any way for this review, and I have no affiliation with Grillo’s Pickles nor Publix.
A good, firm kick in the gullet.
I love a food company with a zany sense of humor. I’d probably buy Grillo’s Pickles even if they tasted like dirt. I’d buy ’em, because their marketing is so dang fun. Scrolling through their social media reminds me of a 90’s indie rock band. For example, they have a giant, mechanical pickle you can ride at their store. Totally rad. They sell water bottles that say “Probably Pickle Juice.” Swoon. And “Cucumbers Gone Wild” bumper stickers. Take my money. They even made a silly pickle cartoon, which you can watch on Youtube.
It’s no wonder Grillo’s has an almost cult-like following. You can tell they love what they do. And, as a consumer, I value that.
Anyway. Fortunately, Grillo’s pickles DO NOT taste like dirt. In fact, they’re yummy, although not as good as I remember. Something about the vinegar has changed, I think. It’s too sour, and diminishes the fresh taste of the cucumbers. Or maybe my taste-bud memory is warped. But, I think it’s the vinegar.
Even with that unwanted, extreme sourness, these are still VERY good pickles. I tried the “Hot Spears” this week. They are, indeed, spicy. Not TOO spicy, but a good, firm kick in the gullet. They don’t taste particularly hot at first bite, but the heat lingers in the back of my mouth for a loooong time after eating. It also builds and intensifies. After three whole pickles, my lips were burning.
Pro tip: If you eat these pickles with your fingers, do not rub your eyes afterwards. Don’t ask me how I know.
I know this isn’t a beauty contest. But. These are beautiful pickles. The plastic jar opens up like a bouquet. A bouquet of sour flowers.
Sour Flowers. Now I know what I’ll name my own pickle company, some day. Don’t you dare steal my brilliant idea.
The big selling point of Grillo’s products is the freshness of the cucumbers and the abundant herbs. My jar was brimming with fresh dill. Dill-icious. I also found some nice, crisp garlic slices. And, as I excavated my way through the pickle mound, I discovered more wonderful surprises, like a whole grape leaf, and several colorful orange habanero pepper chunks.
I recently learned there are humans in the world who do not like dill. This is tragic, and almost beyond comprehension. Anyway, if you hate dill, you will find this jar horrifying, as it is literally swimming with fragrant dill arms and dill legs and other dill body parts. An inescapable quantity of dill. Enough dill to haunt you for all eternity.
For me, this is why I buy the pickles, so I was stoked. I will gladly be haunted by this dill for the rest of my days. And during the afterlife, too. Make it so.
Despite the wonderfully crisp slices of raw garlic, these aren’t what I’d consider “garlicky” pickles. It’s a subtle flavor, at best. Not enough to keep the Vampires away. You can eat these pickles and not offend people afterwards with your dragon breath.
Now I’ll have to find some other way to offend people. Hmmph.
The cucumbers themselves have delicate seeds. They’re small and soft enough to not impede chewing, but provide some pleasant texture.
The pickle body is crisp, but not fully raw-tasting. There’s more softness around the edges, and firmness towards the center. The skins, however, are relatively thick, and provide a bit of orneriness for your teeth to conquer.
These are long spears. Mine were so long, they didn’t fit properly in the plastic jar. Someone folded the tips over, to get the lid on. The pickles popped up, like a jack-in-the-box, when I took the lid off. Also, one unfortunate pickle had his head crushed under the rim of the jar. I put him out of misery — immediately — like the humanitarian that I am. *pats stomach*
Anyway. These pickles are as long as they can possibly be without Grillo’s upgrading to taller jars. They’re also admirably consistent in size. I measured mine, and they are (almost) all about 5 inches long.
Except for this poor dude. He’s having a VERY bad day. This is what my Mondays feel like.
Minus this tortured fellow, these are the kind of pretty pickles I would eat next to a nice sandwich. I also like these as a low-calorie, salty, tart pick-me-up in the afternoon. Especially on Monday afternoons.
History of Grillo’s Pickles
Now that I’ve eaten 5 hot pickles in a row — and my mouth is burning — let me tell you about the Grillo’s company history. After all, who doesn’t love a good underdog story? And Grillo’s has a great one. This Boston company started selling their home-made pickles out of a hand-made wood cart in 2008.
In 2009, Whole Foods asked to sell their pickles. By 2013, they’d sold their 1-millionth jar. By 2020, their pickles were available in “over 10,000 stores nationwide.” Since I follow Grillo’s on social media, their latest news is that they’ve released their own pickle cookbook. Whew. That’s quite the whirlwind triumph. I mean — a pickle cookbook will always be my definition of success.
The foundation of Grillo’s achievement is “A 100-yr-old family recipe made with only simple, garden-fresh ingredients. Our pickles are made cold, shipped cold and sold cold – artificial preservatives and added colors aren’t in our vocabulary.”
Crisp, cold, all-natural success. And probably that wicked-good humor helps.
Nutrition Facts in Grillo’s Pickles Hot Spears
Here are the nutrition facts from the label. There are 20 servings per jar of one pickle each. A single spear has 5 Calories, no Fat, no Protein, 1 gram of Carbohydrates, and 9% of your daily value of Sodium.
Ingredients in Hot Spears from Grillo’s Pickles
Here are the ingredients from the label:
- Cucumbers
- Brine (Water, Distilled White Vinegar, Salt)
- Jalapeño Peppers
- Garlic
- Dill
- Habanero Peppers
- Grape Leaves
This is a nearly faultless ingredient list. Just a bucket of natural goodness. I can’t even snarkle it. Alas.
These pickles are also:
- Gluten free
- Certified Kosher
Price and Shelf-Life for Pickles from Grillo’s
My 1-quart jar cost $5.99 at my local Publix. Since there are 20 servings per container, each pickle costs about 30 cents. Per ounce, the price is 19 cents.
My un-opened jar has a “best-by” date approximately 2 months after purchase. The label says they must remain refrigerated. But I think we knew that.
Dramatic Conclusion
Yes, I will buy Grillo’s Pickles again, and probably forever. And, if I ever make it to Boston, I’m totally visiting for a free pickle ride.
The end.
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