Costco Tuxedo Cake (Kirkland) Review
Author’s note: This is a completely unpaid and unbiased review. I have no affiliation with Costco.
Don’t skip recess.
Ok, I’m going to be honest: Costco’s Tuxedo Cake didn’t LOOK appealing when I saw it in the store. It looked like a huge slice of fancy soap. Soap I would look at, and not actually use. It was too weird and plastic-looking, in its plastic box, with its perfect, geometric sides, and its unnaturally smooth texture. Just an expensive, generic slab of mass-produced chocolatey gunk, spread in layers, and garnished. If I hadn’t already read several positive reviews online, I don’t think I’d ever have purchased it.
But, I’m glad I did.
This bar of wonder is possibly one of the best grocery store deserts I’ve tried. Possibly one of the best desserts I’ve EVER had, period. It is actually as good as the hype. It’s better than soap, anyway.
The Mother Slab
Basically, you get a long, rectangular slab that looks like someone sliced it off of a much bigger, longer, rectangular slab. (I actually did a little pointless day-dreaming about what the mother slab would look like, before they sliced it up into all these baby slabs, and it started to freak me out a little, so I stopped.)
I measured mine, and it was just shy of 12 inches long. About 2.5 pounds.*
As Costco desserts go, 2.5 pounds isn’t that much — the Costco Apple Pie is nearly five pounds (you can read my review of it here). By comparison, this bar of Tuxedo Cake is a dainty morsel. Mine didn’t come with any nutrition facts, but according to CostCuisine, there are 16 servings per bar. That means you’d need to slice this cake into narrow, 0.75-inch slivers. Wussy little slivers.
My momma didn’t raise no wuss, so I sliced myself a respectable 1.5 inch slice.
I did not finish that slice.
I wanted to, though.
I really wanted to. I tried. It turns out this is extremely rich, incredibly filling cake. My tastebuds wanted more, but my stomach screamed “nooooooo!”
Layers and Flavors. And Textures. Oh My!
What makes this cake so good? Honestly, I’m still asking myself the same question. I think it boils down to two things: layers and flavors. And textures, but I said two things.
The top layer is thick ganache-like fudge, embedded with solidified chocolate drizzle fragments. The Costco wizards put some kind of unnatural flavoring in the fudge that makes you dream about it while you’re still eating it.
Then there are two layers of dark chocolate cake, which frankly, is the most “homemade” tasting store-bought cake I’ve ever tried. Excellent texture, rich flavor, and moist. It’s dense, but soft. Nothing like a box cake mix. I am a baker of many homemade cakes, and this truly impressed me.
Next is my favorite: the white layer. It looked super boring and pointless, like a bland layer you just power through so you can get to the good parts. But I was wrong. This is the best part. This is like recess at school. It’s almost an airy cheesecake — a little tangy, mildly sweet, creamy, cheesy — and perhaps denser than the chocolate mousse. It actually sets off the chocolate flavors in amazing ways. Don’t skip recess.
Then there’s the chocolate mousse itself. The reason this cake exists in the first place. The main event. This mousse is like the sophisticated, adult version of chocolate pudding. Also, there are soft chunks of — brownies? — floating in the mousse. If I had to pick my least favorite part, it’s those “brownie” chunks. They just interrupt the mousse for no reason, and they’re not as good as the cake layer, IMO.
(A horde of deranged brownie-lovers is going to fight me now. Sorry, not sorry. I’ll save my brownie chunks and mail them to you, okay?)
Gah. I was trying to discuss mousse. It’s silky, and tastes like cream! I would never have guessed this was mass-produced. The texture is nearly weightless, and it melts in the mouth. It’s slippery and lush. It’s a milder chocolate taste than the rest, and slightly salty. It has a different (but equally dream-able) unnatural flavoring than the fudge icing. Emily Brontë would call it “preternatural” flavoring. No doubt. Wish you were here, Emily.
Ingredients in Chocolate Tuxedo Cake from Costco
When random people ask me what makes Costco’s Tuxedo Cake so good, I stare dreamily into space and mumble “cream.” That’s because “cream” is the first ingredient in this product. If you read my review of Costco’s Chocolate Mousse Cake, you know that cream (or the lack thereof) can make or break my opinion of a dessert. It’s the chemicals. My body wants the buttery-cream-food-chemicals. And it knows when it hasn’t gotten them. My body knows when it has only been served something “creamy” that contained zero cream. It knows!
Costco’s Tuxedo Cake is absolutely loaded with real cream and buttery goodness. Unfortunately, it’s also a hot mess of other, less desirable ingredients.
Here are the ingredients, from the label:
CREAM (CREAM, MILK SOLIDS, CELLULOSE GEL, CARRAGEENAN, CELLULOSE GUM), SUGAR, WATER, EGGS, ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID), CREAM CHEESE (CREAM, MILK, NONFAT MILK, SALT, GUAR GUM, PROPYLENE GLYCOL ALGINATE, CARRAGEENAN, CAROB BEAN GUM, BACTERIAL CULTURE), CHOCOLATE PRODUCTS [DARK, MILK, WHITE CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATEY COATING & DECORATIONS (CHOCOLATE LIQUOR, SUGAR, WHOLE MILK, COCOA BUTTER, FRACTIONATED PALM KERNEL OIL, WHEY, NONFAT MILK, COCOA POWDER, LACTOSE, BUTTER OIL, SOY LECITHIN, NATURAL FLAVOR), MARGARINE & SHORTENING (MODIFIED PALM AND PALM KERNEL OIL, CANOLA & SOYBEAN OILS, WATER, SALT, WHEY, MONO- & DIGLYCERIDES, POLYGLYCEROL ESTERS OF FATTY ACIDS, SOY LECITHIN, CITRIC ACID, NATURAL FLAVOR, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, BETA-CAROTENE (COLOR), CHOLECALCIFEROL), COCOA POWDER, UNSWEETENED CHOCOLATE, CANOLA OIL, EGG WHITES, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, CARAMEL COLOR, NONFAT DRY MILK, SODIUM, BICARBONATE, BAKING POWDER, MOLASSES, SALT, SOY LECITHIN, SODIUM ALGINATE, CELLULOSE GUM, NATURAL & ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, DEXTROSE, XANTHAN GUM, ARTIFICIAL COLORS FD&C(RED #40, BLUE #2 LAKE, YELLOW #5 LAKE, YELLOW #6 LAKE, RED #40 LAKE), MEDIUM CHAIN TRIGLYCERIDES, SUNFLOWER LECITHIN, GELLAN GUM, SODIUM BENZOATE & POTASSIUM SORBATE (PRESERVATIVES), POLYSORBATE 60.
To be fair, I think the artificial colors listed at the end are for the decorated Tuxedo Cakes (Costco sells garish-looking decorated Tuxedo cakes around certain holidays. I think they look awful, but nobody asked me!) Fortunately, you can usually find the traditionally garnished Tuxedo cakes next to the brightly decorated ones.
Price and Servings in Costco Tuxedo Cake
Costco’s Tuxedo Cake is currently $17.99. (The price has gone up $2 in the past couple years.) *Although the package says the cake weighs 2 pounds 10 ounces, I weighed mine at 3 pounds 4 ounces. Huzzah!
Since there are supposed to be 16 servings per cake, each serving would cost $1.13. At the advertised weight, the price per ounce is 43 cents.
This is a “Kirkland Signature” (Costco store-brand) product, and the item # is: 40706.
I took these pictures of different Costco Tuxedo cakes more than 2 years apart. I bet you can’t tell which are which. Costco has kept this dessert amazingly consistent in appearance and taste. I hope it stays that way!
Shelf-Life
My cake had a “sell-by” date approximately 5 days after my purchase date. I’ve had good success keeping this in the refrigerator for a week or longer — with zero change in taste or texture. This cake can also be frozen whole or by the slice.
Dramatic Conclusion
Out of all the Costco desserts I’ve tried, the Tuxedo Cake is still my favorite. This is one of the Costco products that forces me to keep paying my $65 membership fee. When Costco stops selling this Tuxedo Cake — or when it starts tasting different (mind the cream!), I will promptly relinquish my membership card, and stomp off to pout.
The end.
More Reviews You Might Like (or Hate)
Check out these other chocolatey reviews I’ve written. Or don’t, that’s fine, too:
