My First Visit to Crumbl Cookies
Let’s find out what the hype is about.
There’s been a ton of hype and buzz in my city about something called Crumbl Cookies. They just opened a shop in the plaza across the street from my neighborhood. People in my local Facebook groups have been either gushing about how good the cookies are, or up-in-arms about how terrible they are, and how we should only support local bakeries instead. I stopped by on my way home from work to find out what all the fuss is about.
Er, you know. To conduct research. Very serious and important research. Edible research is the best kind of research.
The biggest complaints from “internet people” are that the cookies are too sweet, too soft/raw inside, the ingredients are unnatural/ brimming with fake flavors, the staff is rude/ unhelpful, and there are long lines to get the products. Whew!
According to Wikipedia, Crumbl Cookies was founded in Utah in 2017. They now have over 850 stores across the US. That means there are more Crumbl stores than Costco stores, nationwide! Sheesh. There are currently three Crumbl locations in my county, which seems excessive. People must really like these cookies.
I visited about 5pm and there was no line. The cashier was extremely friendly. There was no menu, or display case, just a small tray of cookies sitting on the counter. Maybe 6 cookies total. That’s it. Just those lonely cookies. Just sitting there. No other products. I was surprised. I am used to bakeries offering many options and a full display case. Something aesthetic, and eye-catching. An abundance of tempting delights. By comparison, the Crumbl products looked rather forlorn. It was a bit disconcerting.
There weren’t any prices, so I had to ask how much the cookies cost. The cashier explained the pricing (per cookie, per 4-pack, etc.) but I’d already forgotten by the time she finished and had to ask again.
Ordering was easy. I just told her which cookie flavors I wanted, and inserted my card. She asked me if I would give a 15-20% tip. I said no. I felt like a ogre. My cookies arrived in a long, narrow box in less than one minute, and the worker held the lid open and asked me to confirm those were the flavors I ordered. Then I was on my way. It took less than 3 minutes to get my cookies.
Not gonna lie. Carrying that long, pink box out of the store cradled on my arm felt like carrying a bouquet of flowers. I felt special. l pranced through the parking lot, practicing my pageant-wave on greasy strangers leaving Burger King.
The Crumbl store is weird inside. I didn’t see anyone baking or cooking. It’s eerily open, and kind of empty. There was an ARMY of workers frantically folding pink boxes at stainless steel work tables. That was the only thing I saw happening. Just a cashier standing at the front with the pitiful tray of cookies, and a swarm of employees folding boxes. It was like a sterile pink factory, which just happened to have a few cookies lying around. It didn’t smell like a bakery inside to me, either, but my cookies were warm in the box. I’m intrigued.
Here’s my box of cookies. This was ~$14. I weighed it on my kitchen scale when I got home and it’s nearly 2 pounds, which means each cookie would average close to 8 ounces. Big, heavy cookies. They are extremely soft inside, which is what I like. Almost raw, yes. But again, that’s what I like. Definitely too sweet. Extremely sweet. Almost sickeningly sweet. Gah. Tasty flavors. Unique combinations, especially the pineapple upside-down cookie (which I had to eat with a fork. And the lovely sauce oozed everywhere and was wasted. Alas).
According to this article, Crumbl has around 250 different cookie flavors, which they rotate on a weekly basis. Supposedly, the milk chocolate chip and sugar cookie flavors are the only two “constants” on the menu. There are an additional 4 or 5 specialty flavors that are offered each week. So, 6-7 cookie varieties available at any given time. Here is a list of 28 of the most popular Crumbl flavors thus far.
The milk chocolate chip cookie is one of the flavors I purchased. I love how tender it is inside, yet crispy on the outside. It’s almost as thick as a brownie, which made it more fun to bite into. I personally thought it was excessively sweet. Cloying, in fact. I could only eat a few bites before I felt ill. Let’s just say this box of four cookies lasted a looooong time!
Nutrition Information and Ingredients
I looked up the Crumbl nutrition information later, and I was pleased to see that the ingredients are far more natural and wholesome than I expected. Here they are (for the milk chocolate chip cookie):
- Flour (bleached wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid)
- Milk chocolate chips (sugar, milk, cocoa butter, unsweetened chocolate, sunflower/soy lecithin, vanilla)
- Butter (pasteurized cream, salt)
- Brown sugar
- Sugar
- Egg
- Salt
- Baking soda
- Corn starch
I don’t see any artificial flavors or preservatives listed, despite the angry criticism of “fake flavors and ingredients” from “internet people.” I’m a big fan of bakery items made with real butter, so that’s a plus.
So, are the cookies yum? Yes! Would I go back there again? Probably not. I didn’t get a good vibe. And everything was too sweet. And kinda spendy. Maybe if I was more of a cookie addict. Maybe if I liked the color pink. Maybe if they sold potato chips. Yeah, I’d go back for potato chips! Give me 250 flavors of potato chips that rotate on a weekly basis, and I’ll be your most loyal customer, ever.
Author’s note: This was originally written in 2022 to entertain a small group of my Facebook friends. I was not compensated in any way, and I have no affiliation with Crumbl Cookies. I like potato chips.
